Saturday, January 29, 2005

Rob is fckin' dead.

I give up. This is not a viable creative outlet, I'm a shitty writer and a shitty person. This is my last post. Thank you for reading (caring) and I really appreciate it. My website will be up soon. I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


I hate people who say they will do something and then never do it. Like meeting you somewhere or something. Grrr.

Today, it's snowing, and tomorrow is gonna be a snowday. Too bad I already had it off.

I'm supposed to party tomorrow, sometime, but I need to get my OHIP. And my gosh, I have a story to write, so I need a lesson in horror. I need to get something inside myself, so I can write this thing. I need fodder, you know? Proverbial cannon-balls. And it's not just anything either, I need something really good. Something worthwhile is always worth waiting for, though. It seems there's a lot of that notion going around these days, people waiting around and such.

And when you have a hunch that someone likes you, go with it, because you can just tell. You think everybody loves you and then it turns out, one day, you're right. Doesn't that make you the happiest person in the whole gosh darn world? Hell no. I'm scared shitless right now. I had such an up and down day, I can't describe.

I feel like, right now, the whole world is watching my reaction. Call it graduer or whatnot, call it chemical imbalence and "Say no to drugs", but really something has changed. I feel like the universe is revolving around me. And I started thinking, heck, if it is that way I can control it. So I've been willing my way places, and it's been turning out great.

The power of denial? Or is it belief? I'm not sure.
Good luck.

Monday, January 24, 2005

life in my veins

I can feel it once again, flowing through, this spirit of creativity or power or something significant. It's another reason to get up in the morning, another reason to do something with my life. It's the importance of change and progress, and although Nietzche was right when he said "Progress" is modern and therefore corrupt, there still is a point to it. The point is to express yourself; be an indiviual; try your hardest at what you do.

It's worth saying that if anything is worth doing, it's worth doing well. Why not strive to be the epitome of everything? Not some gross hyperbole waiting to be cliched, just a natrual and organic high of some kind.

It's too bad nothing ever turns out as perfect as it sounds.

I have not updated, if I may offer a reason, because Amy was home for the weekend, and I worked as well. Between the two I did not have time. We did have a pleasant few moments together, and I'm wallowing in the solace that she will be back on Thursday. I have no school on Wednesday, either, and it has been dubbed "E day" for a particular reason. I would never partake, but I am probably going to go somewhere. I'm not sure.

At work, my hours have been cut. They have been chopped up horribly. I'm now usually only working weekends. Oh well, money is good and I've been trying to conserve. It's hard to be conservative when things around here are so liberal.

Legalize Marijuana!

I'm writing a story for film now, and I'm going to take a nap before bed. I am going to run along now, check back tomorrow around this time for an update.

Saturday, January 22, 2005


We didn't end up going.
What a frickin' ripoff.
then, it was like, "I'll be there at 2:00, no, 2:30.. no.. 3:00".
So I'll probably be leaving around 4:00. This always happens.
Oh well. I'm going to Amy's tonight. Sigh. I'm not in a very good mood right now. I need some music.

YorkU today

Today I will be gone. Gone. Gone. To YorkU.

We are seeing Jake, and bumming around Toronto.
Last night was good, we watched a movie: Envy with Jack Black and Ben Stiller. It was OK, I wouldn't pay for it though.

More later.

Friday, January 21, 2005


I honestly couldn't wait for the weekend. Amy is coming home and I am really happy to see her. Sigh. I wish I didn't have to work tonight. I hope I can get someone to cover my four hour shift, it honestly doesn't feel worth it. To go in for like $28 dollars, when I could go to a party and be with my girlfriend? TOTALLY. Man. I really wish I didn't have to work. Sigh. I hope Trystan covers my stuff.

P.s. I went to class today, it was fine, it was SO cold, honestly, at least -40F. That means it was the same for C and F today :o. I tell you, we were outside and the air would burn your flesh. My hands are just now recovering, I was outside for a while this afternoon.

A QUIZNO'S OPENED NEAR MY HOUSE. It's closer to my work, actually, but FUCK YES!@ I AM HAPPY. WOOOOHOOO. There was some Magician, and a Clown on stilts there, and it was some pretty trippy stuff.

Me, Hudson, Iva (his gf), Jared and Matt went down, and we met Corey and went to the LCBO for the party tonight. I really wanna go.

Anyway, I gotta try to figure this shit out. Ttyl.

that was fun..

Well, sorry for the lack of updates. In the last 24 hours I've been a busy boy.
Oh, it's so totally not fair that my mom doesn't have to work (although she just got a job), my dad is staying home ill, and so is my brother. I want to sleep.

Anyway, in the last 24 hours I: Went to class, Went bowling, drank beer, wrote a history essay.

So I've been busy.

The weekend is coming fast, and I will definitely have something to say. I'm going to YorkU on saturday. I am so excited. I'll see Jake again. He's cool.

Anyway, here's pics from last night:

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Hey Karma, thanks!

I get it. This is actually not too bad. I think I am switching to blue for a while, because black was starting to depress me to hell. Life is actually depressing me to hell, but I see more dark skies these days than ever before, and I think a blue one on here might do me some good. That's why I changed it. I had actually planned it out as white background, but someone complained and I always like to suit the audience (if there is one).

I had this gnarly dream about YorkU last night. There's really no explaining, except I don't believe in prophetic dreams and in it I got in. Even if it was prophecy (which I hope it is), no big deal. I figure I'll get where I'm going, regardless of what happens. I mean, fate, destiny, time, life, it's all the same thing. You only go where you go, and there's no turning back. I think there's really only one choice you make in your life, and that's whether you live or die. Because simply said, we could give up, but we don't. That's important somehow, I glad I wrote it down.

I took some pictures tonight, of the sky. They're not very good because I still haven't figured out everything with the new camera. But some are ok. I think it's because I'm taking it from behind a window so the camera adjusts to the reflection. Anyway:

Furthermore, it is late and I have to get to bed. I'm still waiting for Amy, as usual, so it looks like I can wait no longer. Sigh. I feel so unworthy sometimes. Like I'm not worth the effort? I don't know.

P.S. I am not as lonely as I sound, if I sound that way at all, it's just an illusion, go back to not worrying about me. If you were.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Sublime - Get ready

I am so bored..
Amy is online but she is not talking. I fear for the worst, she has been eaten alive.

Huh awlright c'mon..
Some folks say that smokin' herb is a crime,
if they catch ya smokin' they're bound to drop the dime,
Insufferable informer crazy fools wait with their fingers crossed for you to break the rules.
And in the evenin' when we try to jam,
we like our music loud in this here band,
we let the bass line drop as loud as we can stand,
somebody always gotta turn informer for the man.
I want to know-know right now, is there one of you in the crowd?
Are ya gonna call 911.. and spoil all my fun?
You cray-zee fools. remember never never never go call me sha-la-la-la love.
I'm in the mood, get ready. I'm in the mood. C'mon now yeah. I'm in the mood are you ready? I'm in the mood, c'mon now yeah c'mon.
Load up the bong, crank up this song let the informer call 911!
Load up the bong, crank up this song let the informer call 911!
And when security police force wanna 'rive,
don't try to run, don't try to hide,
just pull out the .9, pop in the clip
Puh, and let one slip,
Into these cray-zee fools. remember never never never go call me sha-la-la-la love.
I'm in the mood, get ready. I'm in the mood, c'mon now yeah. I'm in the mood, are you ready? I'm in the mood, c'mon now yeah.
And in the evenin' when we try to jam,
we like the music loud in this here band.
Oh, I wanna know now, I wanna know-know right now,
are ya willin', are ya willin' and able?
oh oh whoa -- forgot them cray-zee fools.
hereda boy boy bittity biboy, I said you don't wanna go there.
Some folks say that smokin' herb is a crime,
if they catch ya smokin', they're bound to drop the dime,
Insufferable informer crazy fools, wait with their fingers crossed for you to break the rules.
But I'm in the mood get ready, I'm in the mood, c'mon now yeah. I'm in the mood, are you ready?
I'm in the mood c'mon now yeah. I'm in the mood, get ready. I'm in the mood.
I'm in the mood.

That was it. Sorry.

I had a dream

Right before I fell back asleep (or unconscious), I had this little notion that "Bush is a Tsunami". Now, there are several reasons for this, but the main one is because he's destructive to life in general.

Another reason is because despite warnings of these kinds of things, and monitors, and things that are supposed to lessen the damage, he still wrought his havok.

Another reason is the fact that even though the "Tsunami" is over, people are still dying and being found dead.

Another reason is that the flood waters, so to speak, are sticking around.

Another reason is he caused billions of dollars in damage.

Another reason is no-one wanted it to happen, at all. It is a tragedy.

Iunno, there are lots of parallels. If I worked harder I could find even dumber ones. But not as dumb as Bush. He's a real dumbass in my books.

new lover in my life

Sorry Amy, but Counter-Strike: Source is just SO fucking sexy. I don't know if I'll have time for you anymore :(

You either, blog. HAHAHAH. I'm so funny.
I gotta go to school, I'll update after.

Well, I have to update this update. My mom told me not to go to school, because it's really cold and really snowy out. This is awesome. I'm going back to bed for a while.